#23

It’s that time of the year again, my Birthday :). It feels mad to think another year has gone by so quickly. It’s has been a roller coaster of a year learning and growing. Life just got real. I’m an adult that must make real-life decisions and live in this big crazy world.

I honestly don’t know where to start from with all the lessons and growth I’ve had to go through this year. But I will start with 10 things I’ve learned about life and myself since turning 23.

 

1. Being an adult is no joke. You have to be more responsible and make wise decisions for yourself and your future.

2. Relationships may fail but don’t lose yourself over it. It’s a fact of life that meet people and we sometimes end up going our separate ways. But that’s ok.

3. I’ve developed a whole new self-confidence and self-awareness. It may sound little strange but the confidence and self-awareness that I have now it completely differently from before. I’m more sure of myself, I know my worth, I know what I want, and my self-respect has increased tremendously.

4. God has, is and will always be faithful. He has shown me so much this year and made me realise that he is always there for me.

5. Its ok to not be ok sometimes. Crying doesn’t make you weak. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. I’ve struggled big time with asking for help. I don’t like to feel like a burden. So, I like to try and work at it myself. But I now understand that it’s ok to ask for help sometimes. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong because it takes courage and strength to ask for help.

6. Things don’t always work the way you want it to. Life happens. Things always happen for a reason. You may not understand it now, but they always do. That is one of the biggest lessons for me this year. Things don’t always go your way. I struggled with that so much this year because I had plans and goals this year and it didn’t quite go the way I expected to. However, God revealed to me that his timing is always the best. Never rush because he has planned how things will work for you. He knows the best and will always do the best for you. You have to trust him.

7. It’s important to be strong to live and fight another day in this life. Life is not for the weak and it is not always a bed of roses. Things happen, and you must fight to stay on top. Be your own cheerleader and fight to be the best that you can be.

8. My time is too precious to be wasting it on people that don’t appreciate me or add value to my life.

9. Patience is a virtue.

10. Life is too short. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your joy.

 

Those are few of the many things I’ve learned. I’m blessed and happy to see another year in the land of the living and I thank God for the growth and lessons.

Til next time,

Love,

Sincerely Tosin

xo

 

IMG_20171202_214000_088

 

Advertisements

Beauty…

The word beauty has many interpretations, but society’s understanding of beauty is the physical aspect. Attractive face, captivating eyes, incredible smile, good hair, clear skin and having a nice body. However, these words I’ve used to describe society’s interpretation of beauty was always filled with the idea that there was only one shade of beauty…

 

Growing up in a predominately white area, the only standard of beauty I was constantly faced with was blonde straight hair or brown hair, blue eyes, rosie cheeks and thin pink lips. In my eyes, I believed that I did not match that standard of beauty. No matter how much I relaxed my hair, wore weaves, or how hard I tried to make my lips appear thinner, I still did not match up to that standard of beauty…

 

Everywhere I went all I saw were these beautiful white girls with straight hair, petite bodies, and adorable eyes. From tv shows to movies, the girl from across the street, to my crush’s girlfriend. For years, I felt ugly in my own skin. I’m sad to admit but at a time I did not like being black…

I was made to feel ashamed of my blackness because not many people looked like me at that time. There was not enough representation of beautiful black queens we see today on tv, Instagram or in the magazines with amazing chocolate complexion.

 

Finding a foundation that suited my skin tone was difficult, feeling once again that I did not fit into this idea of beauty that was so much plastered all over.

 

Although there were some women of colour in the media and that gave me hope to find some resemblance and some acceptance. I saw these very beautiful light skinned and mixed-race women, but I still felt out of place…

I asked myself, must I look like them to be considered beautiful?… Must I have lighter skin with curly or wavy hair to look acceptable?… Must I change the way I sound, look and present myself to fit into this standard of beauty?…

 

For years, women of colour have been somehow made to believe that being light skinned or passing for white was the only standard of beauty… For years we had been made to believe our kinky natural hair wasn’t considered beautiful. Our full lips, nose, curvy body and amazing chocolate complexion were not good enough to be considered beautiful.

 

Chastised for the way we looked. Ostracize for trying to embrace our natural selves… For centuries we were made to believe that for us women to fit in and be looked at as beautiful to the world, we would have to change ourselves…

 

Women like Sarah Baartman were misunderstood because their type of beauty was not ‘common’ in the eyes of others and because of that they were ostracized for it…

 

For centuries human beings had set this so-called standard of beauty, as a result, subjected so many people to feeling that if they don’t resemble such criteria they are not beautiful…

 

It’s a shame that the little girls growing up back then did not have the role models we have today to remind them that they are beautiful in their own skin. Their kinky natural hair, full lips, nose, and curves were beautiful and enough.

 

With that said, society’s standard of beauty is constantly changing, it appears that all types shades of beauty are beginning to be accepted and embraced. From the beautiful dark girl to the caramel girl, to the tanned girl and to pale skin. There are many shades of beauty.

Image result for all shades of beauty

I’m glad that there is more representation of different shade of beauty today. I proud of my blackness and I’m happy to see that more black women are confident and embracing their unique beauty.

Image result for shades of beauty

From their kinky to their curls, to their captivating eyes, curvy body, and beautiful complexion. They are embracing it…

 

Image result for kiny hair cartoon Image result for kiny hair cartoon

 

 

However, despite such evolution, there is some setback… Some still feel they aren’t enough because such standard somehow still exists… Some feel that their skin tone isn’t good enough, so they feel they must bleach or lighten their skin…

 

It makes sad to know that such self-hatred still goes on in today’s world. That in the eyes of someone our beauty may never to accepted…

 

Nevertheless, we should not let society’s standard subject us to self-hatred. We are beautiful. Whatever race, you are beautiful…

 

Society is the same that will tell you today being slim is everything. And tomorrow they will tell you big bum, small waist, big boobs are everything or nothing or today thin brows tomorrow thick brows… Society’s idea of beauty changes but our idea of beauty shouldn’t.

 

We should always remember that there are many shade and sizes of beauty… Never let anyone tell you any different.

 

Image result for beauty quotes

 

You are beautiful! You are enough! You are a QUEEN!

 

Love,

Sincerely Tosin

Real Neat Blogger Award + Sunshine Blogger Award!!!

Hi guys, so I’m back and thank you so much for the nomination AnonymouslyAfroIrish. 

And yes, I’m late again, ugh I’m so sorry haha but I really appreciate the shoutout, I’ll definitely remember you in my acceptance speech 😉 lol. I really appreciate the opportunity.

I love AnonymouslyAfroIrish blog. It is so relatable and I feel like you can tell about her personality and her character through her blogs and that to me is amazing and genuine. Please do check out her blog, definitely worth the read :).

 

The rules for the Real Neat Blogger Award:

  1. Put the award logo on your blog.
  2. Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs.
  3. Answer the 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  4. Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs.
  5. Let them know you nominated them (by commenting on their blogs, etc.)

 

AnonymouslyAfroIrish’s Question’s

1. Do you feel you have come a long way since you started?

Yes definitely! I’m not the same person I was even a couple of months ago. It’s crazy how with time we evolve and sometimes can’t recognise the person we once were…

 

2. What is the craziest conversation you have ever overheard?

Funny enough, I can’t think of any lol

 

3. Is there a moment in life that defined who you are today? If so, what?

Hmmm… Great question, refusal to accept failure… I’ve always been ambitious and because that I’ve never given up easily on my dreams and passion and that today can define me as a fighter… I guess lol

 

4. What would you tell your 10 year old self about the world?

Life will throw so many things at you. Society will set standards at their own pace but remember who you are and where you are going. Be yourself and do your thing. You are amazing and have so much to offer. None can stop you from shining. God is by your side.

 

5. What is your pet peeve?

Someone being rude. Ugh, it gets under my skin when someone is rude and try to belittle someone thinking that they’re better. I also don’t like liars. Can’t stand a liar…

 

7. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Face reality… It so hard when you have to wake up and face the music. It’s not a dream or movie but its reality. Its like

 

8. Dogs or Cats?

Not really into animals like that haha but Dogs 🙂

 

sunshine-blogger-award.png

 

THE RULES FOR THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  2. Answer the questions asked.
  3. Nominate other blogs and ask new questions for them.
  4. Finally, list the rules and include the Sunshine Blogger Award logo somewhere in the post.

 

Here my questions

  1. What is your favourite song and why?
  2. What is your favourite quote and why?
  3. What is your pet peeve?
  4. What would you tell your teenage self about life?
  5. What word describes you? and why?
  6. What are you passionate about?
  7. What country would like to travel to and why?

 

Nominations

YOUAREGOLDEN

amexawrites

 

I look forward to reading your answers.

P.s. You don’t have to do both awards its completely up to you what you choose to do ❤

Yours Sincerely,

Sincerely Tosin  ❤

 

Forgiveness…

One of the biggest struggles we Christians can all relate to is forgiveness…

Forgiveness can be very hard especially when you’ve been hurt badly. Hurt to the point that the pain it left almost broke you… And sometimes the pain could be because of us failing ourselves and finding it hard to forgive ourselves.

 

I know I have…

 

I’ve made some mistakes in my time and at some point, I couldn’t find the heart to forgive myself. I carried the burden for so long and it weighed on me day in and day out. I found myself, disappointed and angry. I didn’t feel good enough and because of that, I started to distant myself from God…

 

I prayed less and less, read my Bible less and less. I was ashamed and worried that God was not happy with me. All because I couldn’t imagine God forgiving me and me not forgiving myself.

 

But then…. I realised that when we start to condemn ourselves constantly, we are opening the door to doubt, worry,  fear and shame. Those feelings and emotions we dwell on could eventually build a wedge between us and Christ. And that is exactly what the evil one wants. He wants us to continually doubt ourselves and distance ourselves from God.

But the God we serve is merciful…

That revelation alone gave me the courage to forgive myself.

Daniel 9:9 “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him”

Psalm 86:5 “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you”

 

The thing is forgiveness is a very important factor in our Christian life. It may not always be the easiest thing to do, considering that we are still human, and we sometimes feel things, however, forgiveness is very important and powerful.

 

Our hearts are free and light, our shoulders are free and relaxed. That is what forgiveness does to us, we feel free… Because not forgiving can leave us entrapped in our own emotion. And sometimes we could be handing over our power because we refuse to rise and accept the gift given to us through Christ…

 

1 John 2:2 “In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” 

 

It is so important that we as children of God know that although we may make mistakes and fall sometimes, we shouldn’t however, always let our failures and mistakes hinder us from progressing and moving forward with our relationship with God.

Our walk with Jesus Christ is a continuous journey and we learn along the way. The strength to overcome the emotions and feelings is given to us.

 

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

 

Isaiah 41:19 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

 

It is important to know that although you may have made some mistakes, I know I have, God still loves us and will always love us. Let your hearts not be weighed by doubts or disappointment. Let your heart be free because God has already forgiven you before you even confessed he just wants you to come to him, acknowledge those mistakes, admit to it and he will accept you with open arms.

 

To those that have wronged you, don’t give them power over you but be free and light-hearted. Although the pain may be fresh or old, it can still be healed…

 

So, let your hearts to be free…

Don’t let your mistakes and the others who have caused you pain stop you from progressing and moving forward…

 

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

 

My Love…

When my love and I first met there was an instant attraction. It was magnetic. As we stare at each other from across the room, it was almost like time froze. We were both lost in that second, the air was oozing of sweetness, gazing into each other’s eyes hoping that this chance won’t pass us by…

Our eyes said it all. From then on, life as we know it changed. Believing that this new and fresh feeling of ours we planted would grow and blossom into a fruit of everlasting love…

 

My love and I created a world together, a world protected by the walls of desire and faith. Faith in our new found love and bond we shared. Nothing could get in between that. Bricks made from passion and air out of trust. We were both secured in this world of ours…

Dreams were made, fantasies were displayed. My love and I were inseparable, like Siamese twins, one could not live without the other…

 

So, we thought…

 

As time goes by the look in my love’s eyes begins to change… The clear blue skies I once read in his eyes are now dark and gloomy… The smile you once out on my face is starting to fade… The tears you promised me I wouldn’t shed is starting fall… The burden you said you would carry is now weighing on me…

And your kiss is now cold.

Oh, how I hoped and prayed that the world we once built with our hearts would not be destroyed by the hands we tried to separate…

But… I can’t keep holding on to you with my fingertips, knowing that you are slipping away from me. I can’t keep trying to revive the fire once had… I can’t keep trying to glue back the pieces of the love we once shared. And I can’t keep throwing back to the first we met in hopes of you staying to relive our past…

 

My love, it hurts to accept that our beautifully created world has now come to an impaired end… it’s time to let my love go and accept that our love has run its course… Accept that the promises once made is better left unfulfilled…

 

 

 

Liebster Award

Well, Thank you Ms AnonymouslyAfroIrish, I did not expect to see my name whilst reading your blog post haha. Thank you so much for the acknowledgement 🙂

I don’t know where to begin….  I’ll start by apologising for responding so late, I’m sure its over and forgotten now lol. But hey, better late than never right 😉

9 Random Facts About (If you guys are interested in knowing )

  1. I love cartoons, yes I’m 22 and I love watching cartoons. It’s just a great way to escape reality sometimes and to relive my childhood even if it’s for an 1 hour. Hey Arnold, As Told By Ginger, Braceface, DragonBall Z, Rugrats, etc. I’m a 90’s baby so I know whats popping lol
  2. I crack myself up sometimes with the jokes and ideas that randomly come to my mind. A lot of my friends think I’m weird because I have a strange sense of humour sometimes. Sure aren’t we all a little weird? lol
  3. I get bored easily, so I like to do different things. Whether it be food, going out, new adventures, etc. I like trying new things and going out outside my comfort zone
  4. I’ve got a big heart, When I care, I care with my whole heart. Without really expecting much back. So I do when I do something, I do it out of the kindness of my heart, without expecting much back or praise. (But I ain’t no fool now lol)
  5. I’m a daddy’s girl. Always has, always will be 🙂
  6. I do love a little romance now, I may act like I don’t  but I do, a little but not overly cheesy. I love seeing people in love and just happy. It just brings me joy.
  7. I love listening to music from 70’s 80’s 90’s, pop, r&b, afrobeat, South African house music, soul, hip-hop, trap etc.
  8. I love learning about history, and things that effects in society. I like to be aware of things and be knowledgeable.
  9. I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry and accept my fault.

 

Questions from AnonymouslyAfroIrish

  1. What is your favourite quote?

I have a lot of quotes I love but funny enough, it’s mostly bible verses that are my favourites. 1 John 4:4 “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world”

This quote really touches my heart when I first read it. It gives me hope that God has given power me and through him, I can overcome anything! That means a lot that God is with me.

2. What is your favourite childhood memory?

When I would play outside with my brothers and friends. Cycling around, not having the care in the world. The feeling that those moments would last forever. I remember a particular moment when I was playing a chasing game with my brothers and friends, it feels like it was just yesterday. That childish feeling, the excitement that one could not explain. The rush and the adrenaline. Everything is moving so fun but time didn’t matter.

3. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

It might seem a little strange to say this, but reality. When you know you have to face reality… Face the music as they would say… That’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…

4. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Funny enough if you asked me this question 5 years ago or even 3 years ago, I would tell exactly where I saw myself. But now, I just like to take things one step at a time. Do what I do now, hope for the best and leave the rest in God’s hand. Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”.

5. How does writing your blog make you feel?

It makes me feel free… I know it sounds strange, but it makes me feel free. Free to express myself. My fear, to desire, the talents and my hopes for anyone… Sometimes you can’t find the right words to say… But suddenly writing it seems a lot easier than saying it. I get lost when writing, in my own little world… Don’t know, it just feels amazing…

6. What is your favourite book?

Shame by Jasvinder Sanghera, what made me love this book was the bravery the woman had. In this world filled with so many disappointments, hardships and “no” rather than “yes”. She found her voice…

7. What are your biggest regrets?

I use to live my life having regrets but now I don’t… Take it as they are… Take it as a lesson rather than a regret. Life is too short to have regrets 🙂

8. What is your biggest achievement to date?

I would like to believe my biggest achievement today is following my dreams. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a lawyer and more when I was a child… I know that sounds crazy, haha, but believe it or not I’ve known what I wanted when I was a child. And I thank God that I’ve been given the grace to follow through with it.

 

Purple Award

I would like to nominate (Would love to see your answers)

YOUAREGOLDEN

amexawrites

Here are my questions

  1. What inspired to start a blog?
  2. What is your favourite memory
  3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  4. If you could give someone $1,000,000 who would you give it to?
  5. What are your biggest regrets?
  6. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Don’t forget to Link me now 🙂

The rules to the Liebster award can be found here. It really is a great platform for us as bloggers to find out a bit more about each other and a great excuse for us to be the nosy human beings that we all are at heart.

Picture…

 

Smiling to myself as I stare hopelessly at a picture us.

The twinkle in ours and the care-free smiles on our faces said it all. It was a moment worth capturing.

A moment captured and turned into a lifetime of memories…

Captured in that very moment is the love and happiness we once shared. The plans and dreams we had, our smiles replicating our young and ambitious hearts.

That is the beauty of pictures it creates you in a time-machine that takes you back to that very moment without your feet leaving the ground. Takes you on a trans, filled with emotions and memories locked into that one picture.

The thoughts and emotions we once felt is all a memory captured in that picture. The friendships lost, love lost and different paths taken does not illustrate what is in the picture.

Some may say that a picture is a lie. You can hide behind the camera. Fake the smile, fake the moment. But one thing that cannot be changed from a picture is the lifetime of memories it holds.

A moment captured in time can never be erased.

You may have changed and things around may have too… But the picture will always stay the same…

A moment captured and turned into a lifetime of memories…

b00ade196258da4e06c9ffda1d046939--illustration-girl-art-illustrations

Mirror Mirror

 

Each day she looks into the mirror preparing herself for the day ahead. She hopes to imitate the idea of perfection for the eyes of those who will see her…
See her for this image she sees in the mirror…

Her beautiful brown eyes, her soft pink lips, her rosy cheeks, her little button nose and her curly hair. She hopes this is what people will see once they see her. That perfection, she sees staring back at her…

She achieves her desire for acceptance, to be upheld to this idea of the perfection she sees staring back at her…

Unknown to others those beautiful brown eyes of hers is the window to her soul, her pain, her sadness…

The mirror does not seem to capture the truth behind the ‘perfection’ but reflects the image staring it…

The mirror does not seem to capture the pain those lips of hers refuse to speak or the tears she tries to fight…

The mirror does not reflect the lies behind the smile… But the image of this beautiful girl staring back at it…

It seems as though the mirror only reflects the image she wants it to reflect…

It’s like a beautifully decorated box with nothing but broken piece inside…

 

 

4 Year Anniversary

4 years ago I decided to go natural. But to my surprise, this new journey I was about to embark on was going to change the way I look at life.

Silly right? To believe that your natural hair could mean something, opening a door you never thought was existed.

It has a become a statement, a movement, empowerment… And a whole new level of self-love.

Growing up, I never quite understood the meaning of what my kinky natural hair meant. I never understood the beauty of it. I was so fond of the idea of having straight silky hair.Not knowing that I was limiting myself to the idea that straight hair was the only type of hair that was beautiful. Not realising that there is beauty in all hair types…

Whether, straight, curly, wavy or kinky afro, your natural hair is beautiful.

However, what made me appreciate kinky natural hair through the years was the uniqueness…

The coils, the kinks, the shrinkage, the afro, it’s all beautiful. Like saying goes, my hair is my crown. That alone made me feel like royalty. To see my hair as this glorious crown that was made by God…

Image result for natural hair cartoons

I could go on and on about natural hair, its beauty and of course how society over the years had made natural hair to be this ‘taboo’.

Nevertheless, this generation has definitely started embracing a lot more and for that, I’m very happy…

Over the years I have learnt quite a things about natural hair and the effort it requires…

So if you are deciding to natural or you are already natural and you’re struggling, here are a few tips that helped me over the years

  1. Know Why You’re Going Natural & Be Well-Informed

It’s important for you to know why you’re going in first place. And for you to be well informed. When I first went natural I wanted my hair to grow and I thought that going natural would increase my chances of my hair growing. I didn’t know that you could have healthy growing relaxed hair. However, going natural does increase your chances of your hair growing much more because you aren’t using harsh chemicals that suppress your hair. However, if you aren’t formed on how to care for your natural hair, you may not retain your length.

2. Everyone’s Hair Is Different

It’s important to know that your hair is different from the next person’s hair. What works for them may not work for you. As a result, it is important to know what works for your hair type. Try different types of products and see which product your hair likes.

3. Low Manipulation

It’s important to avoid manipulating as much as possible. Try protective styles, twists, cornrows, or even wig!! lol, Try to finger detangle more rather than using a comb. I know using a comb is easier and quicker, however, finger detangling reduces breakage.

4. Be Patient, Hair Grows

Our hair grows approximately 1/2 inch a month. Whether you notice it or not, your hair grows. Some grow faster than others but all our hair grows. Try documenting your hair journey each month to see the difference.

5. You Are What You Eat

I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard this but it’s important to eat as healthy as much as you can. Not only is it great for your health and skin but you’ll see a huge difference in your hair.

Until Next Time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑