Mirror Mirror

Image result for natural hair cartoon#

Each day she looks into the mirror preparing herself for the day ahead. She hopes to imitate the idea of perfection for the eyes of those who will see her…
See her for this image she sees in the mirror…

Her beautiful brown eyes, her soft pink lips, her rosy cheeks, her little button nose and her curly hair. She hopes this is what people will see once they see her. That perfection, she sees staring back at her…

She achieves her desire for acceptance, to be upheld to this idea of the perfection she sees staring back at her…

Unknown to others those beautiful brown eyes of hers is the window to her soul, her pain, her sadness…

The mirror does not seem to capture the truth behind the ‘perfection’ but reflects the image staring it…

The mirror does not seem to capture the pain those lips of hers refuse to speak or the tears she tries to fight…

The mirror does not reflect the lies behind the smile… But the image of this beautiful girl staring back at it…

It seems as though the mirror only reflects the image she wants it to reflect…

It’s like a beautifully decorated box with nothing but broken piece inside…

 

 

4 Year Anniversary

 

Image result for natural hair cartoons

4 years ago I decided to go natural. But to my surprise, this new journey I was about to embark on was going to change the way I look at life.

Silly right? To believe that your natural hair could mean something, opening a door you never thought was existed.

It has a become a statement, a movement, empowerment… And a whole new level of self-love.

Growing up, I never quite understood the meaning of what my kinky natural hair meant. I never understood the beauty of it. I was so fond of the idea of having straight silky hair.Not knowing that I was limiting myself to the idea that straight hair was the only type of hair that was beautiful. Not realising that there is beauty in all hair types…

Whether, straight, curly, wavy or kinky afro, your natural hair is beautiful.

However, what made me appreciate kinky natural hair through the years was the uniqueness…

The coils, the kinks, the shrinkage, the afro, it’s all beautiful. Like saying goes, my hair is my crown. That alone made me feel like royalty. To see my hair as this glorious crown that was made by God…

Image result for natural hair cartoons

I could go on and on about natural hair, its beauty and of course how society over the years had made natural hair to be this ‘taboo’.

Nevertheless, this generation has definitely started embracing a lot more and for that, I’m very happy…

Over the years I have learnt quite a things about natural hair and the effort it requires…

So if you are deciding to natural or you are already natural and you’re struggling, here are a few tips that helped me over the years

  1. Know Why You’re Going Natural & Be Well-Informed

It’s important for you to know why you’re going in first place. And for you to be well informed. When I first went natural I wanted my hair to grow and I thought that going natural would increase my chances of my hair growing. I didn’t know that you could have healthy growing relaxed hair. However, going natural does increase your chances of your hair growing much more because you aren’t using harsh chemicals that suppress your hair. However, if you aren’t formed on how to care for your natural hair, you may not retain your length.

2. Everyone’s Hair Is Different

It’s important to know that your hair is different from the next person’s hair. What works for them may not work for you. As a result, it is important to know what works for your hair type. Try different types of products and see which product your hair likes.

3. Low Manipulation

It’s important to avoid manipulating as much as possible. Try protective styles, twists, cornrows, or even wig!! lol, Try to finger detangle more rather than using a comb. I know using a comb is easier and quicker, however, finger detangling reduces breakage.

4. Be Patient, Hair Grows

Our hair grows approximately 1/2 inch a month. Whether you notice it or not, your hair grows. Some grow faster than others but all our hair grows. Try documenting your hair journey each month to see the difference.

5. You Are What You Eat

I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard this but it’s important to eat as healthy as much as you can. Not only is it great for your health and skin but you’ll see a huge difference in your hair.

Until Next Time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

“Why Me?”…

Hi there, it has been a while since my last blog post… I know right, terrible! I’ve been extremely busy with college, and, well, life also happened.

Happy New Month by the way! I can’t believe we’re already in June, News Year feels like just yesterday… It’s crazy how time flies. Nevertheless, Thank God for his mercy and the gift of life.

During my time away, I had to give myself time to think and reevaluate everything… My life, my relationship with God, my purpose and plans.

I got to a point where things were looking very foggy. It was like I couldn’t see past the fog, no light at the end of the tunnel. As crazy as it may sound, I was just confused. I was angry, frustrated, tired, worried and at some point, I felt defeated…

I began to question God, my purpose and why I was in the position I was in. I was even angry at God at a point. Can you believe it, little me, angry at the Alpha and Omega! The beginning and the end? Creator of Heaven and Earth?

I was so silly! But that was the how I felt at that particular moment in time. I let my emotions and my situation get the best of me in that moment.

The point I’m trying to make is that we go through seasons where things are rough. Storms comes and the sky is as dark as ever. None to talk to and nowhere to go.

You may begin to ask yourself why is this happening to me? I’ve worked so hard for this job or interview, or this exam, etc. and I did not get what you wanted or what I felt you deserved.

And could also find yourself questioning why at your age you have not acquired this or that or maybe not have made a certain amount of money. It gets tiring sometimes, and as a result, you ask yourself, “Why Me?”…

Nevertheless, a good friend once told me about the story of Job in the Bible. How he lost everything and still, he praised and honoured God…

That message alone touched my heart. And to think that Job went through all of that and still worshipped God is truly amazing.

It made feel like, as though what I felt and feel is a problem, is tiny compared to what Job went through. Moreover, there are other people in this world that go through difficult times and still, they praise God and are full of joy…

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

James 1: 2-5  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds. because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”.

It is very easy for us to worship God when things are bright and comfortable. There are even times when things become too easy for us we don’t appreciate it.

Our faith is truly tested by the trials we go through.

Our trials and tribulations prepare us for greater things. Through faith, we shall overcome.

It’s hard sometimes because this life is full of ups and downs. Discouragement from the world and sometimes self-discouragement. Nevertheless, God is and will be in control. Believe in him, even when you don’t believe in yourself because he will give you the strength.

Isaiah 26:4 “Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock”.

We are not perfect, we fall sometimes, but getting up and walking, trusting in God’s power will always be for the best…

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin

 

 

Enough Is Enough….

Its always great to meet someone you get along with.. a friend, a partner, whoever it may be..

Image result for moving on from a friendship cartoon pictures                 Image result for relationship cartoon pictures

It’s great to find someone you can laugh with, share your thoughts with and occasionally be vulnerable with…

Let’s be honest, it’s an amazing feeling to meet someone that you feel truly cares for you and understands you…

But… sometimes, unfortunately, things happen, people change, or you figured out that you didn’t really know them, to begin with…

 

Image result for moving on from a relationship pictures

You missed some signs along the way…

As a result, your impression of them and the relationship or friendship changes. You start to question everything, even yourself…

In spite of that, sometimes because of your feelings towards them or a situation you start to make excuses.

Excuses to why this and that is happening, “maybe it’s me?”, “they’re just going through something”, “but he/she is a nice person, they’re just having a bad day”…

And the excuses keeps coming and coming until you find yourself not even noticing that something is wrong in the relationship…

I am not an expert in relationships but I do know that the road is not always so smooth, why? well because people are different, they come from different backgrounds, they have been raised differently from you, their ideas wants, future plans, beliefs etc. I could try to explain more but we will be here for a long time and we don’t want that haha.

Nevertheless one of the many things that are needed a relationship or friendship is trust, understanding, respect and compromise…

As a result, I have come to realise that you can’t force it.. like the saying goes “sometimes love just isn’t enough”. Same goes to friendships, you may care and have love for your friend but if both of you can’t seem to get it right together, then let it go…

Does it mean you’re a bad person? Does it mean both of you are bad people? Does it mean you’re a quitter?..

No! It just means, enough is enough…

You can’t always force someone to be in life, or force the relationship because it will only cause issues for you further down.

Sometimes in life, ours journeys with some people should only last for a moment but somehow we confuse that for a lifetime.

The writing may be on the wall that this friendship or relationship could become toxic but somehow we allow ourselves be blinded by our emotions that we eventually compromise.

Nonetheless, it can stop but only when you want it to stop .. You need to realise by yourself when you’ve had enough.

You need to know when enough is enough.

Just remember that if that person is out of your life, it’s for the best. However, make sure you are at peace.

It is never a bad idea to still care for that person or wish them well. (From a distance maybe haha)

Life is too short to waste your time on something that doesn’t work, and won’t work.

And always remember that God will give you the strength and the ability to see what it is that you have to do in order to move on and move forward.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak”  Isaiah 40:29 

“But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me”  Psalm 22:19 

 

Until Next Time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

Decisions, Decisions… Who do I ask? Where do I go?

download

 

When I first started this my head was filled with ideas, thoughts, advice and experiences that I wanted to share.

I thought that when next I post a blog it would be filled with motivation or some feeling that I usually get whenever I’m preparing for a blog post…

This time the feeling is different…

I’ve gone through something for quite some time but I have a habit of not dealing with things properly sometimes.

Yes! this a flaw of mine, I admitting it and I am working on it.

I realised that some of the decisions I’ve made in my life were not always what I wanted deep down for myself…

The most recent was moving to the Netherlands…

I admit that at first the thought of moving away to a different country was exciting. Starting fresh, new life, new experience, a new university and new course… It was all just exciting.

However as time went by it started to hit me that I didn’t want this, just not yet. It wasn’t like it was my first choice. Moreover, the other offer I received wasn’t my first choice either. However, I was convinced that this choice was the best choice, a fresh start and something different.

I even prayed to God for direction but somehow I still felt lost. Crowded with opinions from family and friends and self-disappointment, I caved in and decided to go for it… Believing that it’s in God’s plan, that’s why I got this course in the first place…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

And let me just say the hassle of getting in, moving, etc. made me doubt things even more but still, I went for it.

The point I’m trying to make is that don’t make a decision based on opinions and circumstances. You know what you want at the end of the day if you search within yourself. Ask God for direction, ignore distractions and listen to whatever direction he gives.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I have been faced with so many challenges here… Nonetheless, my time here has given me the opportunity to grow more as a person. I understand myself more and life. I believe that there is a reason why I’m here, I don’t know exactly but I believe that God brought me here to grow, learn and gain more opportunities.

Sometimes the bad outweighs the good and sometimes the good outweighs the bad but trust and believe when there is life, there is hope.

It is very easy to get distracted and confused about where to go next and what decision to make.

Just remember that every decision you make in life will affect you good or bad, but be sure that when making those decisions of yours ask God for direction.

Getting advice is great from your loved ones but sometimes it does not always lead to where you would like to be or should be. In fact, when you go through whatever it is you go through because of the decisions you made based on advice and opinions, those people may not always be there with you. As result, you may struggle by yourself.

I’m not saying that receiving advice or guidance from your family or friends is bad a thing because I ask for advice from them too. But the most important one to seek guidance from is God.

God is the only one that knows what’s best for you 1000% and can lead you towards the right path.

Even if you miss your way during your journey just remember that God will always be there to put you back on the right track…. only if you ask…

Until next time,

Stay blessed,

Tosin xo

 

 

 

 

So What Happens Now?…

1st post of the Year!

Is it too late to say happy new year? lol Well I guess its possible to still squeeze in a happy new year greeting since its still January.

Well the year started off with a bang alright.. with whats going on with our society, the economy, politics, social media, etc. The world is constantly changing every minute.

In the midst of it all, I was faced with many challenges. For a quick second I questioned myself as a person. Not that it was a new thing, however this time it was different.

I found myself asking this question, ‘So What Happens Now?’, faced with so many different obstacles all at once, feeling like I can’t talk to anyone or feeling like my issues may not be relatable… Although I must say most of the time I kept a good facade going, smiling while suffering, my mum use to say jokingly.. I’m sure at some point in our lives we have kept a facade going..

And the truth is, whether we like it or not life must go on regardless of what it is we’re going though, because time waits for no one, especially in this fast and busy world we are in..

Nonetheless I have hope, I have faith in God that in the time of trouble, he is alive, well and fighting. However I can’t help but feel stuck sometimes and I ask myself “So What Happens Now?”…

Image result for life direction pictures

Then the answer comes.. Jesus is what happens now.. Prayer is what happens now.. Breakthrough is what happens now..

Psalms 3:4 I cried aloud to the LORD,  and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah

Psalms 50:15 …call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.

Isaiah 41:10…”Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” 

Although it is easier said that done, but truly I say to you in the time of need, God is here and well, willing to help you, only if you have faith in him and allow him to do his works.

I found myself sometimes in spite of these trials, remembering that God is alive and does have a plan for me. I may not always understand it, but that is one of the beauties of the Lord, he always has a plan, whether you know it or not. You just have to trust in him.

Jeremiah 29:11… For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Our faith will be tested in the time of trouble, I know my faith and my trust in the Lord has been tested in the times of trouble.. However even if your faith is as small as a mustard seed, a friend once told me, God truly does come through for you.

So when that time comes and you are faced with challenges and you begin to ask yourself “So What Happens Now?”, just remember that Prayer is what happens now.. Breakthrough is what happens now.. Because as a child of God, all things are added unto thee.

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

Goodbye 2016… Hello 2017

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.  We can help write that story by setting goals” Melody Beattie… 

Image result for new years 2017

So New Years in on Sunday, it’s strange right? How the year had flown by so quickly… I remember the 1st of January 2016 like it was just yesterday, wishing everyone ‘happy new year’, setting goals and new years resolutions…

I know it may sound cliché but yes I had new years resolutions, however, I may not have fulfilled it all or even remembered it all but I made new years resolutions.

It’s funny how life plays out, you plan and plan sometimes and things don’t always work according to your plans: That is one of the biggest lessons for me in 2016, your plans don’t always work out. However that doesn’t mean greater isn’t coming, it just means that that plan may not have been the best for us or sometimes we may not be in control of that situation.

Which brings me to the next thing I’ve learnt this year, control. I’ve always worried when I’m not in control or I can’t control situations. I know at some point we’ve all had that problem of freaking out when we can’t control certain things. Nonetheless, I’ve learnt that God is in control if you allow him to be in control. He is well, alive and ready to take control of all your situations and circumstances. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  Jeremiah 29:11

As believers, we sometimes struggle with trusting God wholeheartedly and letting him take control. We depend so much on the physical and our abilities that we somehow forget that God is the creator of heaven and earth and can and will do all things, only if you accept, trust and allow him to do his work. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Although I have learnt a lot more, however, these are one of the most important things I’ve learnt this year, as well as valuing myself more, believing in myself and taking more risks.

I must say I have certainly taken a lot more risks this year, like moving to the Netherlands to study, starting a YouTube channel and starting this blog.

I also graduated this year too.

Although this year did have its ups and downs, nevertheless I am grateful to God that I alive to witness the end of this year.

I am ready to start the new year with an open mind ready to take on anything by the grace of God.

It is always great to reflect and see how much you’ve improved. It may hard sometimes to keep track or to appreciate where you’ve started from because sometimes we get distracted. But do take that time to reflect on the good and the bad and see how you have improved and how you can improve. Moreover, it is always a great idea to set goals for the new year, take more risks and to take things one step at a time.

So I wish you all a great new year and happy holidays,

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo