Beauty…

The word beauty has many interpretations, but society’s understanding of beauty is the physical aspect. Attractive face, captivating eyes, incredible smile, good hair, clear skin and having a nice body. However, these words I’ve used to describe society’s interpretation of beauty was always filled with the idea that there was only one shade of beauty…

 

Growing up in a predominately white area, the only standard of beauty I was constantly faced with was blonde straight hair or brown hair, blue eyes, rosie cheeks and thin pink lips. In my eyes, I believed that I did not match that standard of beauty. No matter how much I relaxed my hair, wore weaves, or how hard I tried to make my lips appear thinner, I still did not match up to that standard of beauty…

 

Everywhere I went all I saw were these beautiful white girls with straight hair, petite bodies, and adorable eyes. From tv shows to movies, the girl from across the street, to my crush’s girlfriend. For years, I felt ugly in my own skin. I’m sad to admit but at a time I did not like being black…

I was made to feel ashamed of my blackness because not many people looked like me at that time. There was not enough representation of beautiful black queens we see today on tv, Instagram or in the magazines with amazing chocolate complexion.

 

Finding a foundation that suited my skin tone was difficult, feeling once again that I did not fit into this idea of beauty that was so much plastered all over.

 

Although there were some women of colour in the media and that gave me hope to find some resemblance and some acceptance. I saw these very beautiful light skinned and mixed-race women, but I still felt out of place…

I asked myself, must I look like them to be considered beautiful?… Must I have lighter skin with curly or wavy hair to look acceptable?… Must I change the way I sound, look and present myself to fit into this standard of beauty?…

 

For years, women of colour have been somehow made to believe that being light skinned or passing for white was the only standard of beauty… For years we had been made to believe our kinky natural hair wasn’t considered beautiful. Our full lips, nose, curvy body and amazing chocolate complexion were not good enough to be considered beautiful.

 

Chastised for the way we looked. Ostracize for trying to embrace our natural selves… For centuries we were made to believe that for us women to fit in and be looked at as beautiful to the world, we would have to change ourselves…

 

Women like Sarah Baartman were misunderstood because their type of beauty was not ‘common’ in the eyes of others and because of that they were ostracized for it…

 

For centuries human beings had set this so-called standard of beauty, as a result, subjected so many people to feeling that if they don’t resemble such criteria they are not beautiful…

 

It’s a shame that the little girls growing up back then did not have the role models we have today to remind them that they are beautiful in their own skin. Their kinky natural hair, full lips, nose, and curves were beautiful and enough.

 

With that said, society’s standard of beauty is constantly changing, it appears that all types shades of beauty are beginning to be accepted and embraced. From the beautiful dark girl to the caramel girl, to the tanned girl and to pale skin. There are many shades of beauty.

Image result for all shades of beauty

I’m glad that there is more representation of different shade of beauty today. I proud of my blackness and I’m happy to see that more black women are confident and embracing their unique beauty.

Image result for shades of beauty

From their kinky to their curls, to their captivating eyes, curvy body, and beautiful complexion. They are embracing it…

 

Image result for kiny hair cartoon Image result for kiny hair cartoon

 

 

However, despite such evolution, there is some setback… Some still feel they aren’t enough because such standard somehow still exists… Some feel that their skin tone isn’t good enough, so they feel they must bleach or lighten their skin…

 

It makes sad to know that such self-hatred still goes on in today’s world. That in the eyes of someone our beauty may never to accepted…

 

Nevertheless, we should not let society’s standard subject us to self-hatred. We are beautiful. Whatever race, you are beautiful…

 

Society is the same that will tell you today being slim is everything. And tomorrow they will tell you big bum, small waist, big boobs are everything or nothing or today thin brows tomorrow thick brows… Society’s idea of beauty changes but our idea of beauty shouldn’t.

 

We should always remember that there are many shade and sizes of beauty… Never let anyone tell you any different.

 

Image result for beauty quotes

 

You are beautiful! You are enough! You are a QUEEN!

 

Love,

Sincerely Tosin

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Real Neat Blogger Award + Sunshine Blogger Award!!!

Hi guys, so I’m back and thank you so much for the nomination AnonymouslyAfroIrish. 

And yes, I’m late again, ugh I’m so sorry haha but I really appreciate the shoutout, I’ll definitely remember you in my acceptance speech 😉 lol. I really appreciate the opportunity.

I love AnonymouslyAfroIrish blog. It is so relatable and I feel like you can tell about her personality and her character through her blogs and that to me is amazing and genuine. Please do check out her blog, definitely worth the read :).

 

The rules for the Real Neat Blogger Award:

  1. Put the award logo on your blog.
  2. Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs.
  3. Answer the 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  4. Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs.
  5. Let them know you nominated them (by commenting on their blogs, etc.)

 

AnonymouslyAfroIrish’s Question’s

1. Do you feel you have come a long way since you started?

Yes definitely! I’m not the same person I was even a couple of months ago. It’s crazy how with time we evolve and sometimes can’t recognise the person we once were…

 

2. What is the craziest conversation you have ever overheard?

Funny enough, I can’t think of any lol

 

3. Is there a moment in life that defined who you are today? If so, what?

Hmmm… Great question, refusal to accept failure… I’ve always been ambitious and because that I’ve never given up easily on my dreams and passion and that today can define me as a fighter… I guess lol

 

4. What would you tell your 10 year old self about the world?

Life will throw so many things at you. Society will set standards at their own pace but remember who you are and where you are going. Be yourself and do your thing. You are amazing and have so much to offer. None can stop you from shining. God is by your side.

 

5. What is your pet peeve?

Someone being rude. Ugh, it gets under my skin when someone is rude and try to belittle someone thinking that they’re better. I also don’t like liars. Can’t stand a liar…

 

7. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Face reality… It so hard when you have to wake up and face the music. It’s not a dream or movie but its reality. Its like

 

8. Dogs or Cats?

Not really into animals like that haha but Dogs 🙂

 

sunshine-blogger-award.png

 

THE RULES FOR THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  2. Answer the questions asked.
  3. Nominate other blogs and ask new questions for them.
  4. Finally, list the rules and include the Sunshine Blogger Award logo somewhere in the post.

 

Here my questions

  1. What is your favourite song and why?
  2. What is your favourite quote and why?
  3. What is your pet peeve?
  4. What would you tell your teenage self about life?
  5. What word describes you? and why?
  6. What are you passionate about?
  7. What country would like to travel to and why?

 

Nominations

YOUAREGOLDEN

amexawrites

 

I look forward to reading your answers.

P.s. You don’t have to do both awards its completely up to you what you choose to do ❤

Yours Sincerely,

Sincerely Tosin  ❤

 

Forgiveness…

One of the biggest struggles we Christians can all relate to is forgiveness…

Forgiveness can be very hard especially when you’ve been hurt badly. Hurt to the point that the pain it left almost broke you… And sometimes the pain could be because of us failing ourselves and finding it hard to forgive ourselves.

 

I know I have…

 

I’ve made some mistakes in my time and at some point, I couldn’t find the heart to forgive myself. I carried the burden for so long and it weighed on me day in and day out. I found myself, disappointed and angry. I didn’t feel good enough and because of that, I started to distant myself from God…

 

I prayed less and less, read my Bible less and less. I was ashamed and worried that God was not happy with me. All because I couldn’t imagine God forgiving me and me not forgiving myself.

 

But then…. I realised that when we start to condemn ourselves constantly, we are opening the door to doubt, worry,  fear and shame. Those feelings and emotions we dwell on could eventually build a wedge between us and Christ. And that is exactly what the evil one wants. He wants us to continually doubt ourselves and distance ourselves from God.

But the God we serve is merciful…

That revelation alone gave me the courage to forgive myself.

Daniel 9:9 “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him”

Psalm 86:5 “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you”

 

The thing is forgiveness is a very important factor in our Christian life. It may not always be the easiest thing to do, considering that we are still human, and we sometimes feel things, however, forgiveness is very important and powerful.

 

Our hearts are free and light, our shoulders are free and relaxed. That is what forgiveness does to us, we feel free… Because not forgiving can leave us entrapped in our own emotion. And sometimes we could be handing over our power because we refuse to rise and accept the gift given to us through Christ…

 

1 John 2:2 “In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” 

 

It is so important that we as children of God know that although we may make mistakes and fall sometimes, we shouldn’t however, always let our failures and mistakes hinder us from progressing and moving forward with our relationship with God.

Our walk with Jesus Christ is a continuous journey and we learn along the way. The strength to overcome the emotions and feelings is given to us.

 

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

 

Isaiah 41:19 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”

 

It is important to know that although you may have made some mistakes, I know I have, God still loves us and will always love us. Let your hearts not be weighed by doubts or disappointment. Let your heart be free because God has already forgiven you before you even confessed he just wants you to come to him, acknowledge those mistakes, admit to it and he will accept you with open arms.

 

To those that have wronged you, don’t give them power over you but be free and light-hearted. Although the pain may be fresh or old, it can still be healed…

 

So, let your hearts to be free…

Don’t let your mistakes and the others who have caused you pain stop you from progressing and moving forward…

 

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

 

My Love…

When my love and I first met there was an instant attraction. It was magnetic. As we stare at each other from across the room, it was almost like time froze. We were both lost in that second, the air was oozing of sweetness, gazing into each other’s eyes hoping that this chance won’t pass us by…

Our eyes said it all. From then on, life as we know it changed. Believing that this new and fresh feeling of ours we planted would grow and blossom into a fruit of everlasting love…

 

My love and I created a world together, a world protected by the walls of desire and faith. Faith in our new found love and bond we shared. Nothing could get in between that. Bricks made from passion and air out of trust. We were both secured in this world of ours…

Dreams were made, fantasies were displayed. My love and I were inseparable, like Siamese twins, one could not live without the other…

 

So, we thought…

 

As time goes by the look in my love’s eyes begins to change… The clear blue skies I once read in his eyes are now dark and gloomy… The smile you once out on my face is starting to fade… The tears you promised me I wouldn’t shed is starting fall… The burden you said you would carry is now weighing on me…

And your kiss is now cold.

Oh, how I hoped and prayed that the world we once built with our hearts would not be destroyed by the hands we tried to separate…

But… I can’t keep holding on to you with my fingertips, knowing that you are slipping away from me. I can’t keep trying to revive the fire once had… I can’t keep trying to glue back the pieces of the love we once shared. And I can’t keep throwing back to the first we met in hopes of you staying to relive our past…

 

My love, it hurts to accept that our beautifully created world has now come to an impaired end… it’s time to let my love go and accept that our love has run its course… Accept that the promises once made is better left unfulfilled…

 

 

 

Liebster Award

Well, Thank you Ms AnonymouslyAfroIrish, I did not expect to see my name whilst reading your blog post haha. Thank you so much for the acknowledgement 🙂

I don’t know where to begin….  I’ll start by apologising for responding so late, I’m sure its over and forgotten now lol. But hey, better late than never right 😉

9 Random Facts About (If you guys are interested in knowing )

  1. I love cartoons, yes I’m 22 and I love watching cartoons. It’s just a great way to escape reality sometimes and to relive my childhood even if it’s for an 1 hour. Hey Arnold, As Told By Ginger, Braceface, DragonBall Z, Rugrats, etc. I’m a 90’s baby so I know whats popping lol
  2. I crack myself up sometimes with the jokes and ideas that randomly come to my mind. A lot of my friends think I’m weird because I have a strange sense of humour sometimes. Sure aren’t we all a little weird? lol
  3. I get bored easily, so I like to do different things. Whether it be food, going out, new adventures, etc. I like trying new things and going out outside my comfort zone
  4. I’ve got a big heart, When I care, I care with my whole heart. Without really expecting much back. So I do when I do something, I do it out of the kindness of my heart, without expecting much back or praise. (But I ain’t no fool now lol)
  5. I’m a daddy’s girl. Always has, always will be 🙂
  6. I do love a little romance now, I may act like I don’t  but I do, a little but not overly cheesy. I love seeing people in love and just happy. It just brings me joy.
  7. I love listening to music from 70’s 80’s 90’s, pop, r&b, afrobeat, South African house music, soul, hip-hop, trap etc.
  8. I love learning about history, and things that effects in society. I like to be aware of things and be knowledgeable.
  9. I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry and accept my fault.

 

Questions from AnonymouslyAfroIrish

  1. What is your favourite quote?

I have a lot of quotes I love but funny enough, it’s mostly bible verses that are my favourites. 1 John 4:4 “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world”

This quote really touches my heart when I first read it. It gives me hope that God has given power me and through him, I can overcome anything! That means a lot that God is with me.

2. What is your favourite childhood memory?

When I would play outside with my brothers and friends. Cycling around, not having the care in the world. The feeling that those moments would last forever. I remember a particular moment when I was playing a chasing game with my brothers and friends, it feels like it was just yesterday. That childish feeling, the excitement that one could not explain. The rush and the adrenaline. Everything is moving so fun but time didn’t matter.

3. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

It might seem a little strange to say this, but reality. When you know you have to face reality… Face the music as they would say… That’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…

4. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Funny enough if you asked me this question 5 years ago or even 3 years ago, I would tell exactly where I saw myself. But now, I just like to take things one step at a time. Do what I do now, hope for the best and leave the rest in God’s hand. Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”.

5. How does writing your blog make you feel?

It makes me feel free… I know it sounds strange, but it makes me feel free. Free to express myself. My fear, to desire, the talents and my hopes for anyone… Sometimes you can’t find the right words to say… But suddenly writing it seems a lot easier than saying it. I get lost when writing, in my own little world… Don’t know, it just feels amazing…

6. What is your favourite book?

Shame by Jasvinder Sanghera, what made me love this book was the bravery the woman had. In this world filled with so many disappointments, hardships and “no” rather than “yes”. She found her voice…

7. What are your biggest regrets?

I use to live my life having regrets but now I don’t… Take it as they are… Take it as a lesson rather than a regret. Life is too short to have regrets 🙂

8. What is your biggest achievement to date?

I would like to believe my biggest achievement today is following my dreams. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a lawyer and more when I was a child… I know that sounds crazy, haha, but believe it or not I’ve known what I wanted when I was a child. And I thank God that I’ve been given the grace to follow through with it.

 

Purple Award

I would like to nominate (Would love to see your answers)

YOUAREGOLDEN

amexawrites

Here are my questions

  1. What inspired to start a blog?
  2. What is your favourite memory
  3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  4. If you could give someone $1,000,000 who would you give it to?
  5. What are your biggest regrets?
  6. The hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Don’t forget to Link me now 🙂

The rules to the Liebster award can be found here. It really is a great platform for us as bloggers to find out a bit more about each other and a great excuse for us to be the nosy human beings that we all are at heart.

Mirror Mirror

 

Each day she looks into the mirror preparing herself for the day ahead. She hopes to imitate the idea of perfection for the eyes of those who will see her…
See her for this image she sees in the mirror…

Her beautiful brown eyes, her soft pink lips, her rosy cheeks, her little button nose and her curly hair. She hopes this is what people will see once they see her. That perfection, she sees staring back at her…

She achieves her desire for acceptance, to be upheld to this idea of the perfection she sees staring back at her…

Unknown to others those beautiful brown eyes of hers is the window to her soul, her pain, her sadness…

The mirror does not seem to capture the truth behind the ‘perfection’ but reflects the image staring it…

The mirror does not seem to capture the pain those lips of hers refuse to speak or the tears she tries to fight…

The mirror does not reflect the lies behind the smile… But the image of this beautiful girl staring back at it…

It seems as though the mirror only reflects the image she wants it to reflect…

It’s like a beautifully decorated box with nothing but broken piece inside…

 

 

“Why Me?”…

Hi there, it has been a while since my last blog post… I know right, terrible! I’ve been extremely busy with college, and, well, life also happened.

Happy New Month by the way! I can’t believe we’re already in June, News Year feels like just yesterday… It’s crazy how time flies. Nevertheless, Thank God for his mercy and the gift of life.

During my time away, I had to give myself time to think and reevaluate everything… My life, my relationship with God, my purpose and plans.

I got to a point where things were looking very foggy. It was like I couldn’t see past the fog, no light at the end of the tunnel. As crazy as it may sound, I was just confused. I was angry, frustrated, tired, worried and at some point, I felt defeated…

I began to question God, my purpose and why I was in the position I was in. I was even angry at God at a point. Can you believe it, little me, angry at the Alpha and Omega! The beginning and the end? Creator of Heaven and Earth?

I was so silly! But that was the how I felt at that particular moment in time. I let my emotions and my situation get the best of me in that moment.

The point I’m trying to make is that we go through seasons where things are rough. Storms comes and the sky is as dark as ever. None to talk to and nowhere to go.

You may begin to ask yourself why is this happening to me? I’ve worked so hard for this job or interview, or this exam, etc. and I did not get what you wanted or what I felt you deserved.

And could also find yourself questioning why at your age you have not acquired this or that or maybe not have made a certain amount of money. It gets tiring sometimes, and as a result, you ask yourself, “Why Me?”…

Nevertheless, a good friend once told me about the story of Job in the Bible. How he lost everything and still, he praised and honoured God…

That message alone touched my heart. And to think that Job went through all of that and still worshipped God is truly amazing.

It made feel like, as though what I felt and feel is a problem, is tiny compared to what Job went through. Moreover, there are other people in this world that go through difficult times and still, they praise God and are full of joy…

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

James 1: 2-5  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds. because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”.

It is very easy for us to worship God when things are bright and comfortable. There are even times when things become too easy for us we don’t appreciate it.

Our faith is truly tested by the trials we go through.

Our trials and tribulations prepare us for greater things. Through faith, we shall overcome.

It’s hard sometimes because this life is full of ups and downs. Discouragement from the world and sometimes self-discouragement. Nevertheless, God is and will be in control. Believe in him, even when you don’t believe in yourself because he will give you the strength.

Isaiah 26:4 “Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock”.

We are not perfect, we fall sometimes, but getting up and walking, trusting in God’s power will always be for the best…

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin

 

 

Goodbye 2016… Hello 2017

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.  We can help write that story by setting goals” Melody Beattie…

 

So New Years in on Sunday, it’s strange right? How the year had flown by so quickly… I remember the 1st of January 2016 like it was just yesterday, wishing everyone ‘happy new year’, setting goals and new years resolutions…

I know it may sound cliché but yes I had new years resolutions, however, I may not have fulfilled it all or even remembered it all but I made new years resolutions.

It’s funny how life plays out, you plan and plan sometimes and things don’t always work according to your plans: That is one of the biggest lessons for me in 2016, your plans don’t always work out. However that doesn’t mean greater isn’t coming, it just means that that plan may not have been the best for us or sometimes we may not be in control of that situation.

Which brings me to the next thing I’ve learnt this year, control. I’ve always worried when I’m not in control or I can’t control situations. I know at some point we’ve all had that problem of freaking out when we can’t control certain things. Nonetheless, I’ve learnt that God is in control if you allow him to be in control. He is well, alive and ready to take control of all your situations and circumstances. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  Jeremiah 29:11

As believers, we sometimes struggle with trusting God wholeheartedly and letting him take control. We depend so much on the physical and our abilities that we somehow forget that God is the creator of heaven and earth and can and will do all things, only if you accept, trust and allow him to do his work. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Although I have learnt a lot more, however, these are one of the most important things I’ve learnt this year, as well as valuing myself more, believing in myself and taking more risks.

I must say I have certainly taken a lot more risks this year, like moving to the Netherlands to study, starting a YouTube channel and starting this blog.

I also graduated this year too.

Although this year did have its ups and downs, nevertheless I am grateful to God that I alive to witness the end of this year.

I am ready to start the new year with an open mind ready to take on anything by the grace of God.

It is always great to reflect and see how much you’ve improved. It may hard sometimes to keep track or to appreciate where you’ve started from because sometimes we get distracted. But do take that time to reflect on the good and the bad and see how you have improved and how you can improve. Moreover, it is always a great idea to set goals for the new year, take more risks and to take things one step at a time.

So I wish you all a great new year and happy holidays,

Until next time,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo

 

Where Does Your Value Lie?…..

Have you ever asked yourself, “is it all worth it?”

Money, Popularity, Fame, Fortune, Cars etc… Is it really all worth it?

Image result for money

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have money, have expensive things, etc. especially when you’ve worked hard to get those things: of course, you should enjoy the luxuries you’ve created by the works you’ve put in.

However placing your values on those material things may create a problem. Why? Because you are never fully satisfied with what you have. Once you have the money, you may want more, once you get the attention or whatever it may be, you may want more. Placing your values on things like that most times never ends well…

“We should never let material things get ahead of God or become so important in our lives that we can’t walk away from them if He tells us to. Anything you own that has a hold on you is a problem.” Joyce Meyer

We sometimes get so caught up in material things, that we forget that there are more important things in life. We forget that sometimes that these things pass away and are not permanent…

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 19-21

Moreover we sometimes feel that these material things can fill the void that may be there in our hearts: to be honest it never really does, in fact, that void tends to get bigger and bigger. As result, we feel the best way to fill that void is by indulging in material things…

Nonetheless, as a Christians, we should ask ourselves where do our values lie? Do we place it on the things of this world?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy life, or the luxuries or set goals for yourselves: sure I have goals I’ve set for myself. However, it is important that we know where are values lie in order to have a solid foundation.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”.  Matthews 6:33

If we do set our values on Christ, your faith in God and serving him diligently, things will work accordingly. It will give us that extraordinary awareness that “yes” it is great you have all these things but there is more to life than it. Moreover, it makes us more grounded and humble…

“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” 1 Timothy 6:9-10

Nevertheless, I’m not trying to discourage anyone, I’m just sharing with you one of the things I am constantly reminded of, which is values, and where they lie?..

Nonetheless, like I said before there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, living a fab life, popularity, fame, having latest clothes, fast cars etc. Just remember that they are not everything. You as a person are much more than that. You should not place your values on material things because “Material things are delightful, but they’re not important”. Richard Branson.

Until next time guys,

Stay Blessed,

Tosin xo…

 

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